Esther

So today Carmel approached the sheep she has been having a crush on whose name is Esther and I am so proud of her for doing so even though I do not think she got out of it what she wanted.

Yesterday after lunch Carmel went to approach her but there were too many other sheep around so she got very nervous and came back to us and even though we said she should just go and ask to talk to her alone she was so scared and we did not want to push her on this at all.

Today was a different story though as Esther was all by herself and Carmel went up to her and we were watching from the other side of the yard and we could not hear her but she told us afterwards what she had said and what she had said was this:

"Hi Esther, do you have a minute because there is something I have been meaning to talk to you about?"

And Esther said: "Of course Carmel, what's up?"

"I've been... feeling something for a while and I don't know if it is something you might be looking for but I have been really enjoying your company and your support of the COA and I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out together sometime, just the two of us."

"Oh..."

"I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, it's just that I... kind of... like... you?"

And when she was telling us this Petunia jumped in and said "You asked it like a question?" and Carmel smiled a bashful smile and nodded.

"Oh Carmel," Esther said, "I think you are so smart and special and I love what you are doing but I'm sorry if I've done anything to lead you on but I, well, I like rams."

And at this point when Petunia and I were nodding in understanding and saying things like "Oh Carmel", Jasmine said she didn't understand what the problem was and that's when Carmel said "Well she likes Rams and I like ewes," and Jasmine said "Well, we like you too, but what does that mean? Is she jealous of us?" and that's when we had to explain Carmel's sexuality to Jasmine and sometimes I forget because she is so big, that she really is only just over eight months old and when she understood she nodded and said things like "Oh Carmel" with us.

But Carmel wasn't sad because Esther said she would love to hang out more and be friends and Carmel was happy with that and again I am just so proud of her.

I didn't think about this before our conversations today but it must be so hard for Carmel to have come forward like that because I think we just assume that most animals like the gender opposite to them and to break through and have the conversation about who you are really are attracted to is a very tricky conversation to have but it is an important one to have so that love can be given the space it needs to grow.